Okay, mood swings, much?

Right, so now I feel really happy. Go figure. Yesterday I was moderately depressed. Maybe tomorrow I'll chop off my ear and mail it to a girl!

1. Sent off my application for a travel scholarship. Results to come in April.

2. E-mailed my favorite professors asking if they wanted volunteers, per dad's suggestion.

3. Had my "optional workshop" for my show. 2 people turned up, but I managed to speak about Comedia dell Arte for 30 minutes without making an arse of myself, and did some Actor's Gang workshop stuff with them. At the end they seemed enthused, which made me feel good--like I will be able to direct this show and to convey what I want about the style to get it working. More auditions Wednesday and then we get into it for real.

4. About to head off to oversee a high school debates final in Lower Parliament Hall (here), for which I get free dinner and alcohol at a nice hotel. Hurrah!

Uggggh day

Woke up in plenty of time to go to a tutorial for Sustainable Development I wanted to...knew the building but not the room, but thought, "what the hell, small school, I'll follow the people or just ask". There were no people, and the secretary of the building didn't know. That'll teach me. Frustrated, went home and back to bed, conveniently forgetting that I had said I would go into the psychology lab to be experimented on. I'll go in Friday instead, but dammit, I hate forgetting.

My producer had promised to find a space for more auditions this week over the weekend and send out notices on Monday, but since I still hadn't heard from her today (sent a couple messages and finally got an "I'm alive but busy--wait" back), I went ahead and booked my own room and came to some internal peace, which, when I told her what I had done, she suddenly asked if we could do more auditions Friday, just after I was planning my workshop (as a pre-rehearsal semi-audition which would have taken the place of more auditions).

Talked to Katie about the disillusionment we feel right now with the work and people here--me coming from the US "college is where you finally work and meet interesting people" perspective and her from having a boyfriend at Oxford who has to write 1-2 essays a week. Everyone says it's just first year, but, dammit, it doesn't feel like we have enough to do--like we are being taken seriously and given serious work--but rather just being given baby-step lectures. This would be okay if there was a drive within the student body to do independent work--to go to the library and read further on topics of interest--but there doesn't seem to be, at least not with our crew. Everyone is smart, everyone obviously loves their subject and cares, but when we get together all we end up with is being a bit drunk and a bit silly. Nothing more.

So those are my three points of frustration/rage/rant for today. The last one is what worries me the most, although I suppose it shouldn't. It's not like last semester I had any free time, really, but now that I feel settled in there is an aching for MORE, and I even begin to see a point to broad curriculum requirements or three year degrees...but the grass is always greener, I suppose.

In good news, and an effort to make this post stupidly long, I went on Couchsurfing.com last night and sent off a few messages trying to find a place to stay in Spain over break. I looked at Barcelona last night and will probably look at Madrid tonight...any suggestions where to go? Or maybe...since it is two weeks...both? I'll keep investigating.

The last week

The major news is that I had auditions...11 person show, and 8 people auditioned. Damn. Needless to say, we're having more next week. Still, should be doable. Been doing a lot of reading for subjects/applying for a travel scholarship to go to Costa Rica during the summer. I went to the library yesterday and picked up Dante's Inferno (which is actually a nice easy read due to rhyming and short chapters) and interesting in seeing how the Greek and Roman mythology informs the Christian one that Dante builds. Also picked up a book of Gabriel Garcia Marquez short stories in Spanish to try and not completely lose all of that forever. I've also borrowed George Orwell's "Homage to Catalonia" from Callum, which I'm a bit through and is really good. Saw the movie "A History of Violence" with Viggo Mortenson and thought that the script and acting were only so-so, the violence necessary but the sex gratuitous, and that any movie with Viggo Mortenson absolutely CANNOT have a trumpet-laden-soundtrack-reminiscent-of-the-Lord-of-the-Rings.

But things are going well generally--today has been a lazy, lazy day. Last night I had dinner with my cast from the Freshers' Plays, which is always fun and delicious. Intending to get back involved with debates and hopefully some of the activist groups next week, since that looks to be the way this semester is leaning. Sometimes I wish I lacked my cynicism and could go around shouting "viva la revolucion!"

A post about something!

Sustainable Development has some cool stuff. For example, in the 1960s/70s, NASA was looking into the possibilities of traveling to Mars to search for life. They ended up not needing to because, as it turns out, life leaves a huge impact on the planet's climate. There are 8 or so major chemical compounds in Earth's atmosphere. One of these is Oxygen, most of which comes from photosynthesis. There is 21 (or was it 22?)%-less, and there would not be enough for animals, any more and the air would be oversaturated with it and fires would become endemic. Without life, there would be three major compounds in Earth's atmosphere. Rather than a manned expedition to Mars, NASA built a telescope to look at the atmosphere and analyzed it for life.

Nice slow weekend

The main thing is all the Doctor in Spite of Himself stuff...its really cool how people respond to me as a college student, I wish I'd taken more advantage of the youth factor in High School. I found a French professor here who specializes in Classical French theatre, e-mailed him, and am meeting with him this week about the show. I found a version of the script by an actor/writer/translator/professor in the States online, and e-mailed him about it. We've been trading e-mails a bit, and he's sent me a copy of his full script, forwarded my e-mail to a company Scotland that performed his version a couple years ago, and referred me to youtube videos of the performance. Ask and ye shall receive. I need to ask away while I can!

Other than that...going out at night, bit of reading during the day. One of my future housemates is really into going to the gym, and I thought, "what the hell, I don't have nearly enough time commitments" and I've started to go with him. Weird, yeah? Not sure how I feel about it yet, we'll see.

Missing people back home. Don't have that much contact with anyone. Anyways, off to the library to catch up on some Sustainable Development reading.

Nothing too much, but...

I went in and met with Izzy, the president of Mermaids today to talk about "The Doctor in Spite of Himself". And I have a show. And a producer! Sweet. She wants to produce something and, as a fourth year, to pass what she knows on to a fresher, so...! I thought this was going to be an uphill battle and I'd have to do all the production stuff myself, but instead I've got someone who can just say "when do you want the show to go up?", enter it into the computer, and make it so. Late April, incidentally. Auditions late next week. I'm stoked.

Sustainable Development and Psychology today. Both are going to be challenging at least for this first bit as they focus on fairly hard science aspects, but it should be all the more rewarding as a result.

101st Post

Since I missed commenting on the 100 mark....so there!

Okay, I know what I'm doing. Whew. Weight off my mind.

Went to six lectures today. Sustainable Development--fascinating. Starting with history, from 8000 BC and talking about population growth and the environment through the Middle Ages, Renaissance, and Colonization. I am officially taking it. International Relations...dull. Not sleep inducing, and I will certainly go to the later lectures about the foreign policies of various countries, but it has the same problem as last semester of assuming that their course is so popular that they don't try to make it interesting or accommodate students at all (ie having 3 times the workload of other courses). So that's what I'm switching to SD. Psychology. I think I'll stick with this one, since I've been consistently happy and, while I suspect it will be and remain my weakest subject, I just need to put some more time in. We're doing perception now, which is interesting insomuch as I never had even a basic anatomy class, and social psychology and memory/cognition which are coming up should be fascinating. Economics--I knew most of the stuff from Gibert-Rolf, actually, seeing as it was macro. Cool to audit for a few days, and I think I might have been happy going down that path, but not at this point I think. Social Anthropology continued to be a fascinating topic taught by a boring professor with vaguely offensive videos and points about the "otherness" of other cultures. I may continue to audit lectures because they do say interesting things about other cultures, but I'd rather get firsthand experience of habits without the patronizing Western viewpoint. Philosophy continues to be a bit basic but really good, since the subject of "logic" should really come out of the closet and just go by its real name: "arguing". Perfect.

So: Philosophy, Sustainable Development, Psychology

And, it looks like I'll be able to direct this semester! I'm definitely leaning toward Moliere's "The Doctor Despite Himself", a purely silly farce about the medical profession, class, gender, and the other usual suspects. I'm thinking about thematic sort of things I can do already, and the idea I like most is donating maybe 50% of profits to Doctors Without Borders or some other relevant cause, both to promote the production and the publicize it, and to try to break out of "the bubble" of St Andrews a bit. But mostly because it just sounds cool.

I'm feeling up. Valentines Day, whatever, but its also ironically of the most bitter and sexually frustrated guy I know's birthday, which is fun. So we're going out tonight.

Uggggg

Exhausting. I was up last night (of course!), then up this morning for breakfast. Went to test the waters in 3 classes, Sustainable Development (sounds fairly interesting and looks to be good teaching), Economics (looks interesting but today was just signing up for stuff so no actual lecture), and Social Anthropology (fascinating, exactly the stuff I would be interested in doing....but GOD was it deadly dull and the lecturer said nothing over...and...over...again). So. Also had Psychology (more of the same) and Philosophy, Knowledge and Reasoning (arguments, formal logic and epistemology, which should be useful if not riveting). So I think I have some tough decisions, but it should be interesting. I may see if I can take 4 classes instead of 3, though last time I asked I was told students weren't allowed to receive over 60 credits (each class being 20). I may just audit one, though which one? Who knows.

What else? I applied for an essay scholarship (submit an essay on learning techniques, win ££!) because it was only 500 words and I was bored. I wrote about the idea that you can never do too much. We'll see if that's true.

I asked about directing this semester and was told there was a chance and I should come to the theatre meeting on Thursday at lunch, so I'll go to that and in the meantime desperately read up on Moliere (my thought is to do a comedie del arte comedy--by the way mom do you have Vanessa's e-mail?). I'm still waiting to hear back about the job at the hostel, but I'm not thinking I'll be offered that at this point. There's some temporary work stuff at the library for decent pay that I may do instead. I found a St Andrews Travel Bursary where you can apply for money for any travel project, so I think I'll see if I can get them to pay for Costa Rica this summer. Speaking of which, I'm hoping to go to Costa Rica for a couple months over the summer and volunteer at Aviarios with the sloths. Fitting, no?

So, I've been keeping busy.

Being back

It was agoraphobic for the first day in St Andrews--so many people, cars, and the mass of city life pressed into the Nile valley left me somewhat disconcerted by the wider spaces and open roads of the small town.

I've been doing a lot of catch-up with people, getting to know the JSA's (junior semester abroad students), reading and watching movies. Exam results came out, so the final marks for the classes are up. 17 in Philosophy, 14.9 in IR, and 14.1 in Psychology, which is the exam I think I bombed. Not too shabby, considering I needed a 5 to continue and a 12.5 next year to do honors in any one. I know how to prepare better for psych now, and I'm planning on going to some Sustainable Development/Econ/Social Anthropology lectures next week to figure out if I want to stay in IR or transfer.

Finished Murakami's "Kafka on the Shore". Not one of his best works, sadly, I don't think. Fun, fable-licious and fantastical, but the bizarreness felt almost common, as if it were a typical fantasy story rather than magical realism. Still a quick and fun read, but aside from an awesome title and moments where Murakami closes the net of his world around the reader and you realize how finely crafted it is, nothing too special.

Also, in Egypt I finished "Trainspotting", the book the film is based off of. Anyone attempting to learn a Scottish accent need only read this book aloud. It's hard going until you get used to the lingo and a bit inconsistent (the movie's climax/ending are far more effective than the book's), but a really good read in the sort of "Fightclub" vein. In a lot of ways its a plea against modern Western society and how its efficiency and plenty has killed off anything human in us--a perspective emphasized by reading it in Egypt, where close families, neighborhoods, sexes and religions in the midst of chaos provided a glimpse at an alternative.

I've also watched a few movies from the library since I've been back. Two versions of ""Jekyll and Hyde", one from 1931, another from 1942. The '31 is cheesy as hell, but in the end leaves you in that 20s movie way, where something more representational than realistic seems frighteningly close and pertinent. The 40s one was just slow and dull, by this time really trying to be a period piece and as a result missing the human core. Also watched "Philadelphia" (I'd read about it somewhere in relation to Tom Hanks and the start of gay characters being depicted in film) and thought it was really good, ra-ra motivational, perhaps, but about a subject that could use it. It was powerful and reminded me of "Brokeback Mountain" in some strange way...not because of they were gay, but because the two I felt dealt in common themes of separation and death. Yennow, the good stuff.

The Return

Back from 13 days in Egypt...there is a bit to report. I'll start with general impressions and what I did.

Day 1: Get to airport late-ish, Shawn was, thank god, there to pick me up and found me no trouble. There must have been a diplomat or somesuch arriving at the same time because car travel to the terminal was closed and we had to walk a bit to a find a cab who had bribed the guards to get in. Shawn, good man that he is, immediately took me to an ahua (the arabic word means both coffee and coffee house) for tea and shisha, after which we got kosharie, a meal of beans and pasta with spices thats everywhere and inexpensive. Because Shawn was leaving soon for Jordan he didn't have an apartment of his own, but his girlfriend Anya and her roommate Becca had a couple extra beds and we stayed there. Becca had recently gotten three kittens, which was...amusing.

Day 2: Slept in, but spent the rest of the day with Shawn at the Khan Al Khali market--a massive bazaar and sometime tourist trap with a more local market across the street and huge mosques all around that we went in (shoes off, of course). I had a post this summer about mosques, and now having seen a few more and being back in the land of churches the difference is striking. Mosques are wide open spaces, like parks of concrete, usually with a huge courtyard adorned only with an area to wash hands and feet, and stretches of space interrupted only by pillars and occasional shelves of Korans and religious texts. In the market I bought a shisha pipe and tobacco and a pocket Koran (for approximately 80 cents), and we sat down for a quick drink and puff at El Fishaway, the oldest teahouse in Egypt (note: not that old, but expensive and touristy). After dinner we watched Firefly well into the night.

Day 3: Spent a lot of this day wandering around downtown with Shawn, stopping in a desert shop, a bookshop, and a square from which Egypt's semi-illegal opposition party makes semi-illegal speeches (no one is allowed to stop and listen, and they can only make them from the privately owned building). We met up with Andy and David, two other exchange kids, and took a faluka (slow, flat sail boat) down the Nile a bit for sunset. Shawn and I had dinner with William's sister Maggie at a nearby place, which was cool, and then went back and socialized with year/semester abroads at the appartment.

Day 4: It rained! No one was out on the streets, which promptly flooded. City is not built for rain. I went to the Egyptian Museum, which was both awe inspiring and sad. Nothing is labled, so I followed various English and Spanish tours to catch a bit of what I was seeing. The size of the pieces, the size of the collection and the quality of it were only matched by how unlabled, unsorted, and unprotected everything was. Children would climb all over the pieces, and leaks from the roof let a steady stream of water down on thousands of year old carvings. It raises a tough question of priorities: which should come first, heritage or preservation? Egypt certainly has the right to the artifacts, but not the ability to protect them-and really, they'd probably prefer the money to be made from selling them. But that's temporary, whereas tourism brings in a steady flow. But for tourists to come, the artifacts have to last. Catch 22. Afterward went back to Andy, David and Spencer's apartment for pasta, then headed to an ahua to watch the Egypt-Sudan football/soccer (Egypt won 3-0).

Day 5: Went to a friend of Shawn's who owns a stable and is building a hostel, an Egyptian named Mohamed (if you plan to go to Egypt ever talk to him--foxegypt2020@yahoo.com). We drank tea at his place, then rode horses to the Abusir pyramids (which are between-and in sight of-Giza and the step pyramids, man's oldest stone monuments). These pyramids are off limits, technically, but we rode around the Beduin guard huts and were fine. We were able to get right up to the pyramids, and even climb inside one that was unfinished and had no top. Various half-standing temples and things were in that area as well, and we explored them. It was really cool because it was only the small group of us, unlike at the tourist trap that is Giza. Went back to Mohamed's for dinner, and then went out in the desert and played football/soccer with him, Shawn, Andy, David, and Spencer in the sand in the shadow of the pyramids. I learned a subtlety of the language talking to Shawn--profession, place, etc, work differently in Arabic. Rather than saying "I live in Egypt", you would say "I am a live-er OF Egypt". Place, family, and profession become identity--essence--rather than merely action.

Day 6: A "day off". Wandered around a bit, read Trainspotting, got kosharie, and went for a fancy dinner at a place called Sequoia. Tipping waiters through the meals ensures fast, good service--there's a "service charge" on the bill but it all goes into the cash register and never reaches the waiters.

Day 7: Went with Shawn to Coptic and Islamic Old Cairo. Like a slice of the past--massive religious centres in the midst of slums. We visited various early churches and cemeteries (there is a place called the "City of the Dead" which is a cemetery where the mausoleums have been converted into houses, and the cemetery now functions as a dangerous slum). We tried to find our way to the last Synagogue in Cairo, but got turned around and ended up on a back street instead, where we sat for a tea and shisha. The population of Cairo is incredibly densely packed, and this evidences itself in the homes, which for an entire family or even a few generations are often only a single room. We went to a few Mosques, talked a lot about Islam and the culture, and then went back to the apartment and watched "Bedazzled", a soul-crushingly bad movie which was a lot of fun. That night was a study-abroad student club night, so I made up an ID number and went with everyone. Sadly, the deception was more fun than the clubbing--lack of alcohol or contact between sexes takes a bit of fun out of dancing.

Day 8: Saw the American University of Cairo campus, used the internet there and bought Murakami's "Kafka on the Shore" to read on the way back. Shawn and his girlfriend's roommate had been fighting for a couple months, and on this day she threw him out of the apartment so we moved in with Andy, David, and Spencer. Such is life.

Day 9: This day was spent largely wandering, downtown and at the Khan Al Khali market (with Spencer, who hadn't been). We went to an extremely western mall and saw the upper crust of Egyptian society and ate really good, although fairly mild, Mexican food, which those who had been there all semester desperately needed and I, going back to Scotland, was not about to say no to. We went to an ahua later on, and I played a game of backgammon (something of a national pastime) with an Egyptian lawyer and ice cream store owner, who talked to us a bit. He was an ex-policeman, whose duties had included reporting people for subversive talk about the government, and he was very wink-wink nudge-nudge about not saying anything bad about it. He talked about baksheesh, almsgiving, which is one of the pillars of Islam. He claimed to have financed a kid through school (poor kids generally stop around age 10) in exchange for working in his shop over the summer. One of the fascinating things here is the way connections and professions work--there is no concept of nepotism, because that is how things work. If you want something, you have to know someone, because there ARE no official channels that operate with any sort of efficiency. Also, most people hold many jobs for the income--one of our taxi drivers was an English tutor at a university in the morning, taxi driver in the afternoon. And a note on driving in Egypt: Bolivia looks tame. There are no road signs, lines in the road are superfluous, there are no traffic lights, intersections work on a 100% playing-chicken basis, and whoever is in front has the right of way. In addition, drivers don't turn on their lights at night to save power/stop them from burning out/something. And, with no sidewalks or traffic lights, people just have to hurdle through the moving cars to cross the road. But there is a rhythm to it, unspoken rules of crossing, a special language or horn honks, and it all seems to at least function.

Day 10: Went to the camel market with the guys and Mohamed, which was in a village about an hour out of town. We ate some very authentic food in a guy's house (goat stew and something resembling grass soup with the consistency of thick snot), and, of course, smoked shisha. Daughters of people who came to the market walked through it burning incense in exchange for small tips (EVERYTHING is in exchange for small tips) to keep the smell down. On a building at the entrance, two eyes are painted to keep the evil eye away, and outside the market in the desert there is a space with probably 30 dead camels in various states of decay. Next to the camel market, which is preserve of rich rancher-type Egyptians (a camel eats twice as much as a horse and is probably half again as large--these thins are huge!), is a poor mans market/village out of scrap lumber and metal sheets that sells largely junk--used doors, broken technology, secondhand clothing and kid's toys. After the camel market I went to another university event at a massive mansion where there was free food, and from there with Shawn to a party with his friends from last semester.

Day 11: Another vacation-from-vacation day, stayed in most of the day. Finished "Trainspotting", started "Kafka on the Shore", played cards, chess, and backgammon with Spencer.

Day 12: Giza day. Whew. I needed the rest. I went alone, which was an experience as well. Did all public transit. Egypt has an incredible subway system (very cheap, very efficient. Men and women ride in separate cars), Pretty safe and, compared to everything else, really clean, although as a whitey you get some stares. Coolest thing is all the Muslim men with their pocket Korans who pull them out as light reading for the ride, and sing the verses as they read so there is a sort of low humming intonation through the car. Another side note: it is considered good, and fairly common, for guys to have bruises or calluses on their foreheads. This is from prayer. Ate fuul, beans and pita. Got to Giza and was somewhat disheartened by the commercialism of it all, though of course its amazing. You come in and there's the sphinx, then beyond it a little ways the three big pyramids and six smaller ones, along with temples and various tombs/sandstone houses for the workers. All, of course, completely unprotected so you can walk up to, and on, everything, and there's a fair bit of graffiti. Little kids and various people everywhere trying to sell you cheap trinkets, camel rides, horse rides, have you pay to take their picture or for them to take yours, etc. I had lunch with a Beduin guy who approached me as I was sitting on the side of the big pyramid. I was very suspicious, but he made some efforts to convince me he wasn't selling anything. Of course he was trying to get me to buy any number of things, but in the end I ended up sitting with him and several other guys (including guards) while he made a small fire, made tea and handed out pita, cheese, and lettuce/tomato. It was really nice because, for once, they talked to each other and took a break from trying to sell everyone everything and just ignored me--which was great. I tipped the guy for the meal, of course. Took the bus and subway back. Busses are a trip because they are privately owned by the drivers, so there are no regulations or real schedules. People pack in to probably twice actual capacity, and the bus never stops--you jump on and off into traffic as it moves, and pass money up to the driver's assistant(s). Waiting for the bus I had a couple cool interactions. An irritating guy who just tried to sell me stuff, 4 guys who were probably 16 who sat next to me for a bit and obviously wanted to communicate but didn't speak any English, and gave me a cigarette, bought pure sugar cane juice, and talked to a few wealthier young guys visiting from Alexandria who spoke good English and asked if I wanted to join them (I would have if I hadn't just come from what they were going to). Back at the guys place, we had a few people over for a quiet party, and then I went out to an ahua with Shawn for his last night in Cairo last hurrah. He's an interesting kid, and this trip certainly let me know him better. One part ego, one part ideals, and one part the real stuff--what makes it worth it.

Day 13: Woke late, taxi downtown to buy the Koran on CD/DVD ($7 or so for the whole thing, premium recording, which I'm listening to right now). I wandered around downtown and ate at a cart--sandwiches of liver and of brain. Brain was surprisingly really good--not a great taste, but the texture was soft and buttery like scallop sushi. I sat in an ahua for an hour or so and then headed back. The next morning, very early, I left Egypt.

And that's the basic recap. This trip opened my eyes to a whole new set of questions, or at least areas of interest: Islam (but I had that before), the Middle East (more than just "where the news is at the moment"), extreme poverty, more extreme poverty, the "basic" human condition in such poverty, friendships as they are governed by the rules of culture (homosexuality is not acknowledged as existing, and friends of the same sex, either sex, hold hands and are extremely physical with each other at all times, in some contrast to the US and stark contrast to the UK), modernity and human rights (?) next to tradition.