Erm, hello there internet

It's...been a while. Um. How have you been? How are the....kids? They're fine? We'll, that's fine. I'm fine too.

Been home a week and a half. Good results on exams ("all that studying" clearly paid off :) ) and a good flight home, so that's all dandy. Lots of beach times, lots of good times, a little boredom for spice. The usual, really. So, skipping the last couple weeks, here is TODAY:

Mom wakes me up for gyros at noon. Life is good. After that finished Voltaire's Candide, which was just a fun, good read. Interesting after having done a bit of Modern European philosophy this year, since its a satire of the idea of cause and effect and the idea that a perfect God must have created the best of all possible worlds. My favourite passage is in the first chapter, a wonderful description of sex:

"One day Cunegonde was walking near the house in a little coppice, called 'the park', when she saw Dr. Pangloss behind some bushes giving a lesson in experimental physics to her mother's waiting-woman, a pretty little brunette who seemed eminently teachable. Since Lady Cunegonde took a great interest in science, she watched the experiments being repeated with breathless fascination. She saw clearly the Doctor's 'sufficient reason', and took note of cause and effect. Then, in a disturbed and thoughtful state of mind, she returned home filled with a desire for learning, and fancied that she could reason equally well with young Candide and he with her."

The close second to this is that same Doctor's description of how his STD can be traced back to Colombus' discovery of the New World and therefore must be a good, because had it not been brought back to Europe we would not have chocolate either. There is a wonderful economy of words, partly, surely, because it is comedy, but it is something I think I can learn from.

Later in the afternoon, Mom and I went to see Pixar's "Up", a great film about a cantankerous old man who turns his house into a blimp and finally goes on adventures. It's quirky with a great eye for detail and comedy and at the same time really touching. I think all of these are aided by the fact that it is made as a children story but with the crabby antagonist as protagonist, taking the time to understand his motivation and really get a sense of the good in him and the dreams he is finally realizing--or not. It's a film about loyalty and friendship and courage and the usual, but also about age and dreams--the ones we have, the ones we had, the ones we finally prioritize and realise, the ones thrust on us, and the ones we have to give up. Heavy stuff for a kid's film. I'd definitely see it again, as I'm not sure I was able to process everything that was going on in one viewing.

The night was capped off with dinner with the Narrie family and going to go see "Our Town" at the Actor's Gang. Three acts and as many hours long, the first act could really have been cut without losing much and the third was visually stunning but cliched--the second was the only place where the characters felt really human and connected. But they definitely connected, and I'd say the play all-in-all was a success. Again a lot about growing up and expectations, what we want and what we get in life. It was more serious than I anticipated (a good thing), though still with a heavy dose of comedy.

And next week I turn twenty. So the themes of all of the good art I 'consumed' today are very much on my mind. Its scary. A fair number of people I knew in High School are leaving university, some are having kids, and I just generally feel my entrance into a more adult world. Part of it is nice--I don't feel like I'm 'trying' anymore, I'm just doing. But that also implies a lack of safety blanket; you can always 'try' again, but once you do something it is done. Also thinking a bit about art and artists--today certainly I felt that the people I interacted with (in an entirely one-way sense) first and foremost were artists. Bookmakers, movie theatre attendants, road builders, car builders, bankers, politicians, etc ("the machinery") were all, of course, necessary, but they were part of a means to an end that was art (or, let's take it broadly, 'culture', whatever the hell that means). Is the artist also part of the 'means'? Sure. But if the 'end'--the purpose, the goal, or just "that thing that takes up most of my time"--is some form of art or storytelling, I think that re-casts my perspective of the artists role in society. Rather than lampreys on society that provide an 'other' to banking and bussing every once in a while, something not really needed but kind of nice, they take a central role. If life is about stories and people are social animals, artists are both creating a context or backdrop for life to be carried out in or in front of, and providing a necessary good that in the end is as essential as food. This view of art is a delusion that I think it may be helpful to carry into the future!

Lazy Sunday

Have had a highly entertaining weekend. Saturday we had a Diplomacy (boardgame) party, with an interesting mix of theatre and annexe friends, ending in a Russian (me)/Turkish biumverate ruling Europe following English and Italian surrender in 1907. Great fun, and especially worthwhile for talking to people I respect artistically: an actor from 1984/Psychosis who brought up the idea of trying to adapt a graphic novel for the stage ages ago and who I'm trying to convince to go through with it, and an actress from Hecuba who is a brilliant writer that I'm offering to work with doing illustrations for a comic of our own. Should be meeting with both of them today!

This was followed by going to our house to film a video for Harry (co-director from Psychosis) on my computer for an ARG (alternative reality game) he's involved in about online dating...for robots. You can check out MustLoveRobots or RobotFriendFinder if you're *really* interested--they're mildly amusing.

The next day (Sunday), I golfed in St Andrews for the first time! Well, mini-golfed. Had an extremely random invitation from a 4th year who is trying to do everything in St Andrews she hasn't done before she leaves, and so four of us went and had a few drinks and went out in the sun to piss about with golf clubs and be insulted by middle-aged Americans and their children whose education in the One True Path Of Golf we were doubtless obstructing laughing, hitting multiple balls/hitting balls between our legs/aiming for the wrong flags, and generally not acting as if Golf was an accurate measure of our self-worth and possibility for success later in life. It was great fun. Went back to study and then to a dinner party with some of the same group and their friends. Again, a good time, complete with after-dinner charades and guitar hero.

Today is a buckle-down-and-study day, in anticipation of being done with exams for another 7 months or so following tomorrow. I have been delaying revising Kant, so that'll be like pulling teeth.

As for the change in blog layout--I highly recommend it. Very effective procrastination tool!

SD exam

Had my SD exam at 2 yesterday--it went well, I thought, though the questions were all very vague so my approach was basically just "get indignant and rant", which will hopefully be effective. One of the questions was about Easter Island, which was only mentioned in a single lecture, but made me very smug. I mentioned that it smelled like horse.

Read the first Neil Gaiman's "Sandman", another adult-ish comic book. The artistry of some of it takes me aback, and its an fun premise--the main character is essentially the god of dreams, with all sorts of other weird and quirky characters, including a jealous Lucifer, a deranged super-villain, and a perky, punk-goth Death.

Also returning to an idea I had yesterday, thinking about doing a children's story as my main drama project next year, trying to do stuff with costumes/puppets/set as much as possible. I've had a look at "Where The Wild Things Are", since it's badass, and really love the idea of doing that....the story as read is about six minutes and, of course, very simple, but with some good physical storytelling creating personalities for each monster I think I could stretch it to 40 minutes or so. Would also be a great town-gown show, with a kid and possibly an older person as a storyteller and, of course, students as the monsters (hah!). Could do a lot of cool stuff, though I'd want to get a few artists to work on extensive set bits and Lion King-style costumes. It's certainly an idea!

Finally, a link: http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/161682/detail/ . He is so flipping [boo bad pun] cool.

Exams=adventure?

Had my first exam today, and it went really well. World Religions, quite general questions and absolutely confirmed to me that I can remember anything if I read it before bed and then just before the exam. I had dates, mo'fucka!

Had a few beers to celebrate (keep in mind--exam got out at 11.30) and lounged about for a while before going back home to study a bit for Sustainable Development tomorrow. Had enough of that, and went on a long aimless walk with Anne (a partner in procrastination), where we ended up at a university dump--fantastic! It was all piles of rubble, lines on eerie lines of microwaves, stoves, and fridges from halls, and old battered physics equipment (including a crate that said "lazer" on the side!). But the peak of it all was a skip filled with boxes of books--course requirements from other universities (before they had the internet!), PhD dissertations (so that's where they go...), and copies of New Scientist dating back to the early 80's, with some awesome Cold War stuff going on. Played in the books for a good hour before heading back, laughing elatedly in the street much to the unsettlement of passers by. Headed home for further revision.

Finished The Dharma Bums, which I enjoyed immensely (much more than On The Road) and which I swear helped with my Buddhism essay, for better or for worse. It made me really want to go camping, or at least walk on the fire trails around LA--'real' nature doesn't really exist here, its all manicured through the centuries of human interaction.

Home seems to be coming up fast and hard--this weekend is a party weekend, then another day to study and one last exam, and then I'm all done. I'll probably stay for a day or two afterward to soak up the people while I can and figure out where the hell I'm going to put my stuff, and then hop on the plane. I intend to make the most of these last few days, though.

Ah the joys of the posh and English in summer! Yesterday (summer) was fantastic, in the sense that it was good and slightly unreal. Went for breakfast with a group of friends as always, and a walk on the beach afterward, as sometimes happens on a nice day. Then, in the further interest of procrastination, had the most stereotypically Engish picnic ever in one of the guys' back yards: scones, cream, jam, tea, ginger beer, champagne. Then another long walk by a stream along some of the parks in St Andrews, complete with dicking around on the playground. After this I went home and had a nap (it's hard work!), ate dinner, and got a call to go on another walk with another friend. That was my Sunday: zero studying, zero worrying about studying, lots of outside time. It was awesome.

Revision now is really odd-I've had practically 2 weeks to prepare for 3 exams (7 hours), which has led to me being slack-tastic.

More grey days

Lots of people have their first exams today so tonight there's a barbecue and some pub-age, which will be a welcome change. Yesterday spent the whole day in my pajamas. Still reading Dharma Bums, and finding it wonderfully escapist. It really makes me want to go camping. Still revising at a rate of a few pages per day. Writing a little bit, but only a very little. Thinking about theatre for next year, but drawing an absolute blank. I was looking into Nightmare Before Christmas, but rights become too much of a hassle. They are putting on Rent next semester, which should be fun. I re-read my adaptation of 1984 this morning and thought more about devising pieces. I think the only problem with it is that I end up with a similar flavour or tone with the Cheolseung method of devising stuff, which is really good but not for everything. Might be fun to do a Sam Shepard play or something, see what I can do with the cowboy American image that Brits love. I don't know. I definitely need this summer to re-invigorate me.

And exams still seem ages away...

Grey sky

Revision for the first few weeks of Sustainable Development. Sitting next to the window reading Kerouac's "The Dharma Bums" and drinking tea. Counting that as revision, since "Dharma Bums" at least mentions Buddhism....It's nice actually, as Kerouac I feel like really talks about enjoying life and being dissatisfied with it at the same time. I don't think I really got it last year when I read "On the Road", but certainly feel like I do more now.

Bought a mango and realised today that I need to eat it before it goes off. Cut it up, but that just made it more evident how much there was. I had some canned peaches and mixed them, with a sort of smoothie in mind, but we don't have a blender...then hit on the idea of cobbler. Put it all in a pan with some rasins and cinnamon. But wait, cobbler requires pastry...made some french toast, cut it up, and put it in. Not bad! Way more than I could eat, still...

Have thought lately a lot about how I miss interacting with people who aren't in the 18-28 age range. I think there is an implicit value in interacting with people who have been through what you are going through and figured life out a bit more, or can at least show you the options going forward. I think I've been incredibly lucky through my life in interacting with people from all sorts of generations, and that alone may be reason enough to look for a job in addition to school next year. The best cure for existential angst may just be someone a bit older saying, "yeah, get over it", by example if not in words.

My shoes have broken and I'm cycling between steel-toed boots, nice shoes, and slippers. I have a few zombie films to watch. But I am a bit bored.