the downside to scheduling things...

...is that I can't remember what day I did what. I take my responsibilities completely off my mind except when they occur, putting them down in a document, but then after the fact they haven't been in my mind so they don't stick in any chronological order. Not a problem, really, just an observation.

So, what did I do today? Re-wrote and sent off my report for the travel scholarship from this summer. Had an absolutely useless SD tutorial where we calculated our carbon footprint. Weeee flights. Nothing I haven't already done online. Nothing too much new...usual pretty good philosophy. Rehearsal for Narnia (fight scenes really coming along), gym for the first time since I've been ill, which put me in a somewhat better mood. Videochatted with Clare for the first time this year, which was really nice. Still need to catch cheolseung grrrr. It's late, so I'm not terribly coherent. Had an idea for doing the 'palmers' scene in Romeo and Juliet with text messages in a video focusing solely on the actor's hands...new project? I'm tired of theatre people drama and really like the main film guy (who will hopefully have something to display at 1984) so I might propose that to him. Never done film and might be a fun venture.

Meanwhile, my SD essay looms monolithic. I'm trying not to think about it with limited success. One thing at a time, though.

Watching the second half of "Drunken Master" before bed. Watched the first half last night. Comedy already, and the dubbing is so bad I think it might count as meta-comedy.

Further adventures in the neverland

Feeling a bit surreal at the mo', probably from lack of sleep.

Last night TROUPE did our first thing. You can read about it at www.troupit.blogspot.com and hopefully soon also see some pictures. Good fun. Got to sleep at 4AM and gave tours of Regs starting at 9.30 today. Ahhhh. Otherwise, stuff's going well. Had another biology guy in SD, and the bio bunch are good. Got another e-mail re the travel scholarship report and it's due Friday, which means plenty of time. So that's good. Also had rehearsal and I'm really pleased with the new direction we're going in for 1984. A lot more emphasis on secondary characters and what they mean in that world. And Winston got semi-nude today for the first time, so that's good fun. Still far from a finished product, but at least a flare of hope after our black Monday. Went out for coffee with an old friend, then got a battered pizza (my first this year...I can feel the grease sitting in my stomach, comfortably munching years off my life-span), went shopping at Aldi's (the big find? Christmas cake! Of course, America will be decked out in Thanksgiving now, but we're already on Christmas. We're also 7 hours ahead. Britain is in the future!)

Drinking tea. Work on 1984. Work on travel scholarship. Go to bed?

what. the. fuck.

I got a text from one of my actors asking if we could talk before rehearsal a couple hours before. Fine, I know what that means. Fine. What I was not prepared for was calling two other actors to ask why they weren't there and get a "didn't you get my e-mail?" reply. Fair enough, but this means they sent the e-mails after 2PM on the day. Both also quit.

So, my 12 person show is now 9 people. Fine. My issue is, they all quit just after I had handed out the first script. For a 12 person show. So now, instead of going on to blocking the script and getting really in-depth, which is what the leads at least need so as not to stagnate and plateau with their characters, we've got to go back to square one (okay, maybe two) of workshops. And I've got to write a play where I thought I'd be focusing entirely on an essay. I am not a happy goose.

This is what it means to be at Uni

I'm not going to my 1PM lecture. I am not ill. The lecture is very much on, same time as always, same stuff in SD. But this week, the lecturer happens to be profoundly boring, utterly incoherent, and reliant on Wikipedia for much of the information on his slides. At least he cites it, bless him. So I am not going. I'll go tomorrow, because the topic should be decent though he is not. But today, I'll take that hour to do reading instead. It feels really good to say, "fuck you, you're a terrible lecturer, so I'm just not going to go. I'll learn the material more efficiently on my own." I know it sounds petty, but it's a bit of a realization for me. I'm usually of the opinion that, as long as you can stand it, you'll generally get more from going to lectures than not going, even if you space out half the time. At least you get sound-bytes for essays and exams. But no. Not this lecture. It's a powerful and liberating feeling to have made this a conscious choice.

I am reading a lot again, which is good as I am very behind. Constant headache being sick meant reading was difficult, so now I'm racing to catch up. I'm feeling a lot more on-top in general...wrote a letter to Robbie which I now just need to get a stamp for and send...caught up with some people from last year. There's still loads to do, of course, but I'm feeling much more up for it and much less like death. Though the cough is still with me.

So today should be 3-4 Philosophy, 4-5 1984 rehearsal, 6-7.30 Chinese. And that's it. For now, Chapter 4 of the Republic.

Great article

http://www.thesmartset.com/article/article10100801.aspx

On the failing of education....from a man who writes other people's term papers. The conclusion: People can't write because they aren't reading--"But that's standard!"--because they aren't reading term papers. Thinking about it, I always loved the peer-review and edits in class because it meant that I got to see what other students were doing, where everyone clung to the same points and the few little jumps of genius. And in return for fixing some typos I'd get to steal some genius and give the common ground, stylistically and thematically, a wide berth. Before writing my last philosophy article, I went online and looked up what the professor had written on the dialogue or essay was on. The topic was completely different, but her loopy writing style and pointedly logical steps gave me the framework I needed to write the essay in two hours.

Now I'm struggling with another essay, and I think, after reading the article, that it's because the professor is from Biology, a 'foreign' discipline, and the essay itself on a massively vague topic. So what's next? Let's check out what the professor has written. I've been looking for sources covering the same topic, but since I'm vague on what the topic even is let's just start with style.

lying in bed, watching heroes, doing nothing

After not a short-and-east day...couple hours ambassadoring, a lecture, a 1984 rehearsal (butoh workshop!) and a Narnia fight rehearsal...but it's all good now. Still feeling not fully recovered, but on the mend. Managed to burn a pot today--put water in it, put it on the oven, forgot. Fire alarm goes off, I come downstairs and there is an empty pot with the plastic handle on fire. Spectacular! In good news, the new season of Heroes is great so far, lets hope it stays that way. I've got a shopping list and a trip I need to do in the next....oh dear, next 40 minutes. Sigh. Getting out of bed...

I also really need to start in earnest in research for my SD essay, wonderfully vague topic of "Is it practicable to harvest life sustainably?" How can academics make even QUESTIONS obtuse, contradictory and meaningless? Also, horror of horrors, we have 'chemistry guy' lecturing in SD on atmospheric chemistry at the moment...He just sort of throws formulas up, tell us what they mean, and then throws more up. And? If we were doing proper chemistry, I'm sure we would be deriving them and plugging stuff in--dandy. If we were "oooh at how you don't actually need to know anything about science to understand the earth and plan for a sustainable future"-SD-as-usual people, we wouldn't bother with the formulas and instead go on and on about what people are doing to mess things up and how much better nature is on its own because of things like hydrogen and nitrogen in some vague sense, because those sound like gasses and gasses are science-y. Not too much of a complaint but rants are more fun both to read and write.

Looks like I have hit something, maybe not much, but something with 1984. The creative writing society is getting into the exhibition idea and the film head sounded pleasantly interested...though artsoc and photosoc ironically seem very 'meh, we'll do it if you force us' about the whole thing. We've also gotten loads of contacts in and through the town, which could be incredible as far as starting some town-gown relations and meeting people who are also Scottish goes. Even all the visiting day people seem to be English.

I've also committed to starting writing again. Huzzah for old computer back. It's actually really stress-relieving, in these dark and schedule-filled times, to sit down and write complete nonsense. And blog, of course. And blog.

Illness, I know you love me, but I think it's time for us to start seeing other people

Sick again--snot-and-sore throat are the theme of the day(s) this time...though I think I'm beginning to recover.

Yesterday I was an absolute waste of space, but today I've written my Philosophy essay and a bunch more for 1984, all around (and, lets be honest, in) two rehearsals. Macbeth remains a waste of time, as we're doing 'character building' improvs before we get into the actual text, but its very specific to our characters and situations in the play and so is limiting in the worst way. Also, who is Banquo? I don't know. How will I find out? The script? Are we working with that? No. Next week should be better. Narnia is coming well (my current lack of voice is perfect for the wolf! All raspy and growly...Jim says I sound like Batman), although we need to do separate fight rehearsals a bit. Still, it's good fun.

What else? Have been going out at night rather than getting better. I blame peer pressure, and think it's an interesting phenomenon that I find that almost an acceptable excuse. Wonder why that is? Doubtless some odd, half-forgotten rebellion against drug education as a kid.

Learned that it is possible to make cupcake frosting with alcohol in it. Have not made said frosting, but found it intriguing.

Really excited about TROUPE. We met Saturday night, and every day we add more to a list of events (I think I may slowly change the name to 'heists', sounds cooler). Should have our first one on last week of November...I'm excited! We'll be videotaping everything and putting it online (I've started a TROUPE blog and will link to it when new stuff goes up). But it's really cool.

In that vein, last night (rather than sleeping...pshhh) I was online for quite a bit researching theatre...avant garde or just non-traditional, trying to find a list of things which are impossible to stage. I have a vague idea of doing a comedy next semester that will take something completely ill-adapted to staging and do it...my current forerunner is "The Matrix: A Hip-hop Musical". Feel free to post any ideas--I'm looking for stuff like naval battles, flight, monsters, many locations, and completely underwater. I find I'm really thinking about the nature of theatre, maybe art in general. How bourgeois of me. But: what is next? We've had deconstructionism. We're bored with it.

Found an interesting article on the future of the internet and theatre (aka the internet is an important part of our lives, how to stage it?), and just today Clare messaged me and Jessica about doing Shakespeare or something through iChat's 3 person video call. Excited, much.

Just waiting to get better....I'll get to bed soon.

Voting

An odd experience. I am not as cynical as I thought: it really had some impact on me. Let me set the stage:

Jim is playing a football (soccer) game in the background. I've just eaten breakfast and showered. Been thinking most of last night about my script for 1984, thinking that my tasks for this morning, after voting, are to read the first 2 chapters of Plato's Republic and write all my Chinese vocab in one place. Somehow, all of these become relevant in the light of voting. I put on the Colbert Report, then think of the wonderful irony of voting while listening to him. It's "The Word", about how whoever the next president is they will be a POW: Prisoner of W.. Not bad.

So, thoughts:

1. Oh god, it's a multiple choice test. Oh God. I guess school has....prepared me well? Or maybe just disgust that it never, ever, ever ends. Ever. I also note that the voting options are slightly more incoherent than your typical multiple choice test. The numbers are arranged up-to-down, making it hard to find things as we read left-to-right. This is further confused by the fact that each section seems to have different rules for how to fill in bubbles. You mark one box by party for president and vice president, one of two to vote for other positions (given things like the persons occupation and occasionally political affiliation...to be honest I didn't vote on several of these offices because I'd never heard of the person or what the position actually did...yeah Democracy!), and then a bubble for "yes" or "no" for each of the state measures, where you are provided with a general statement of aims and costs.

2. I am an adult. I am putting in my voice to choose how the US fucks other countries and masturbates itself for the next four years. Sorry, it was too good a metaphor to resist. But it did feel like something special. Like having some sort of a voice, making a difference. It felt like being out of school, like having the decision what to do with my time at all times, like living on my own. It felt adult and powerful.

3. I can't even drink legally in the United States.

4. The whole "An Historic Election" thing, the race/gender/etc shock that we've been bombarded with feels insignificant when you're filling in bubbles for little black-and-white names on paper. Even so, before I sat down I had the thought: This is the first election I've voted in. This will be my standard, and the standard of my generation. And perhaps it's just being Californian, but if this is our standard, then I think we have come a long way. Democrats are voting for a black-ish man, Republicans are voting for McCain and something that resembles a cross between a woman and an iguana. Whichever way this goes, this election has re-defined the office of president in the US. No matter that most other countries did this 50 years ago, it might--just might--be our time. Policy change seems nigh impossible, but if attitudes start to change it's a step.

5. Colbert has been my main political advisor for the last 4 years or so. His humor expresses a rejection of politics and media so complete that rather than provide commentary it attempts to imitate it, as if to say, "is this even possible?" He tries to transform himself to enter the world of current politics and in that transformation shows how over-the-top yet overly-serious American politics have become. It's an anthropologist gone native. And about as much American politics as I can stomach (at least British MPs actively make fun of each other).

6. The state measures are interesting. Lots of green stuff, public transit creation/improvement stuff. The interestingly conservative "oops gay rights are a mistake" and "teens should definitely have unwanted babies!", though some nice breaks for druggies. And standard school/law enforcement/veteran stuff. This was actually the section that made me feel best to vote for--actual policies which, while I'm sure I have the understanding of a retarded chipmunk about most of them, will make a direct difference that voters can actually control. Lets have this kind of ballot on wars and stuff in the future, mmkay?

Done. Just got to pop it in the mail. Took a lot longer than expected...The Republic may have to wait a bit to be read. It feels special though. I've inherited my white middle-class American birthright: caring about politics. I can see where people say the ballots are shittily confusing and where people never even register to vote. There's just nothing to make you. I hope Obama wins, there'll be a brief surge of international friendliness toward the States and he'll look good on magazine covers.

Stuff

Had a good rehearsal today after a decent lecture. I'm torn between sticking to butoh incoherence and doing it as a straight-ish play. I think the butoh will win out. It's looking really cool, anyways. And it looks like we'll get some interest from other societies to be a part of it, which is cool. Ideally, I think I'd have an hour of show and an hour of speeches/slam poetry/etc...though maybe not on the same night. Could be alternate nights or something? Heh dunno, I'll figure it out. I think I'll be cutting out a lot of 1984, but I may yet succeed in making it poetry, which is my eventual goal.

Really need to read the first couple chapters of The Republic....uhhh must just start. Also, finishing the Phaedo. Damn reading...

Weekend end

Busy and not...Got up quite late both days and had not too much to do. Cleaned the kitchen Saturday, which was long overdue, had Narnia rehearsal, went to a house party for a bunch of ex-regs people which was fun, though odd. Seeing lots of people who I haven't really talked to since summer.

Today just basically had more Narnia rehearsals which I used largely to re-read 1984 and get down a linear plot summary, as well as re-write some good speeches and bits in my notepad. Then had my first meeting for TROUPE, which a lot of people weren't able to attend but came up with some cool ideas for event performances in St Andrews. Made a beef stew...things have calmed down a tiny bit, or maybe not, but at least have settled into a clear schedule, which is good for peace of mind. So that's that.

In brief

Robbie's back in Glasgow this weekend so I'll get my computer back! Watched "The Constant Gardener" yesterday and thought it was really good, gave me some direction for 1984 in an odd way. Have lost my first page of notes for Chinese...gotta try to find them by Monday. Really need to go shopping; also, to clean the kitchen and take the garbage out. First philosophy tutorial today, hopefully will go well. Independent reading wise, got through 120 pages of "Dangerous Misconceptions" about the eugenics movement and birth/population control before getting bored and returning it--now am reading "Not by Genes Alone" which is arguing cultural evolution vs biological evolution for human behaviour. Have found, via links on this blog (much to my embarassment, for the fact that I hadn't remembered them) a few of my old favorite blogs that will be handily bookmarked on my old computer, so I've been catching up on those. Bookforum especially has lots of interesting links, though all the economic blogs are overrun with "oooh pretty recession" comments. Got a topic approved for research/presentation in Sustainable Development: the effects of war on the envionment (natural and cultural). Should be cool!

Hectic Wednesday

Last night had the first Macbeth rehearsal, a Gilbert and Sullivan rehearsal (don't know if I'll stick with it...big choir, not really sure what my role is), and the news that I'm Saturninus in Titus! Which is cool. Proceded to stay up most of the night, which was a bad idea because...

...9AM started giving tours of Regs--my job! 9-1, which is a good four hours at decent UK minimum wage. Not really hard work, basically what I did at Aviarios but shorter and they're paying me (yet to find a sloth though...sigh). It was cool cause it's a lot of people I know, so downtime ended up being decent banter.

Then 1PM lecture, an hour to go home and eat and get ready, and then rehearsal. 3-6: my first 3 hour rehearsal? Quite possibly. Started with warmup, a workshop thing, had the actors pair up and make scenes, read a chapter of 1984, learned an Irish drinking game/song (amazing. always have the irish in your shows.), and did another workshop with eye contact and had more devised scenes. I'm really pleased with my cast (though had yet another dropout, so I need one more person to get to the mandatory 13) AND stole a couple production people from Macbeth ("share" might be a nicer word), so I've finally got people out and inquiring. Big plans--talking to the union for a venue, artsoc for an exhibit, possibly live musicians, and all the political societies at least for mailing lists and possibly to help with exhibits...ahhh chuffed about everything that's going on. THEN straight to the gym, then Tescos, now out for a friend's birthday!

Sick again

Woke up this morning and went, "oh shit". My nose has been running all day and is a bit tired. Unfortunately I had 3-5 rehearsals for Narnia, 5 audition for Hamlet (next semester) and "5-8" (read, until 9.30 at least!) callbacks for Macbeth. Meh. Sickness and sitting about without much to do but not being able to leave in rehearsals/callbacks=not too fun.

On the other hand, rehearsal for 1984 last night went well, am happy with the people and energy. Got choreographed for three of fifty million fights for Narnia. Picked a book at the library called "Dangerous Misconceptions" because it was a cool title. It essentially is a historical look at birth control coupled with eugenics (guess what the author thinks about both?). So far at least the population and health aspects are interesting, as well as a look at how terms like "family planning" came into existence and the interactions between church, nation and race.

I'm having trouble thinking coherently right now so I'm going to have something hot and go to bed. I really should do laundry tomorrow...mmm we shall see.

Mmmm

Friday night! Managed to be almost stereotypical, believe it or not. Today was fairly relaxed--got up at 9, went straight back to bed until 12.30, ran to my 1 o'clock lecture, met the Mermaids treasurer for show-talk (starting my own production company with a bank account and everything! snazzy!), went home, read Plato's Socrates's Apology for the afternoon (interspersed with eating, chatting, listening to Reggaeton, and getting groceries), went and auditioned for Titus Andronicus (I've got a callback for Macbeth but didn't get in to one of the a capella groups--sorted), watched a play of Alice in Wonderland with some people (psychadelic 60s inspired...started great, then got bogged down, literal, tedious and incoherent), got a book from the library on population control, got beans at Tescos, ran into Jim and Robbie and went out. And that is my complete day.

The weekend: Tomorrow, 2-5 fight scene choreography for 3 of my infinite Lion/Witch/Wardrobe fights, 5-5.30 training as one of the Regs ambassadors for my bit of part time employment, possibly going into the gym (with Jim!) after that, then 8PM rehearsal/getting together at my house for 1984, Regs anexxe party (possibly). Sunday 2-5 Lion/Witch/etc rehearsal, Macbeth callbacks. Ahhh might just keep this blog as a schedule planner!

I'm really enjoying the pace right now, we'll see when deadlines start coming up...but I think it'll be alright. Feels a bit more like my high school years, never a spare moment--but talking to loads of people, making new acquaintances and solidifying old ones. Reminded, going out with Robbie again, of how well we get on. Deciding to dedicate an hour or two a day for reading, no matter what--but we'll see how well I'm able to stick to that.

PS: Airlines--fantastic. Or is that just their employees?
PPS: The dollar, despite bedlam and the apocalypse, is at 1.83:1 with the pound! Not bad!

Thursday night

Still no word on the computer--if I don't hear by the end of the weekend I'll worry and call.

Had one of the busiest days yet, and didn't attend a single lecture! Got up nice and early and did the philosophy reading and read sparknotes on it too since I couldn't go to that lecture. Tried to go to the 1PM SD to find out that was slotted as a tutorial and so doesn't happen until next week. So I went to the Mermaids meeting, which is supposed to be at the same time anyways. Set up a production meeting for tomorrow...I really need a producer, all the planning/tech stuff bores me. 3PM started auditions again (had around 10 more people audition) and stayed in the room for a Habitat for Humanity meeting. Yawn. Fund raising to go build houses in the third world for two weeks. Charity just amuses me. They raise 11000 pounds (a year of my tuition) and give it all to the airlines and a first world office. Ah well.

Went home, ate some of my "Brian's own bootleg rice pudding" (leftover brown rice with honey, milk, and rasins), then went to audition for another a capella group. They were really pretentious last year but really nice this one. Then headed over to Model UN to watch a bit of their conference and go for free wine afterward. It's cool since I know lots of the people--though it's all a ruse, really, the whole thing is run by Germans! Would be a cool thing to do. Time? Yeah, that. Afterward headed home and sent out my cast list. The turnout for 1984 was interesting--almost an even number of guys and girls auditioned! Felt almost wrong having a balanced cast list. Easily half of them American, almost all either first years or fourth year/postgrads. Wierd. Should be fun though, first meeting this Saturday. Finished off by making "Brian's own leftovers tacos" (chicken, mushrooms, spinach, and salsa in a tortilla). Bit bland, but good. Headed over to 'the others' house where we are watching Gangs of New York and I am multitasking as usual.

Feels good to be busy again, though I may have to do some serious academic-ing just to remember that I'm at university. Meeting lots of new people, getting involved in new things. Also starting to think about maybe doing a year abroad next year? I'll see what I can do.

How daily is this!

Updates on all the stuff I keep piling on myself:

Joined the St Andrews Ambassadors--essentially the people who show new people around. It's in the mornings before I have lectures, you can opt in or out of whatever dates you want, and it pays! Minimum wage, but in neat 3 hour chunks. So hopefully I'll be called a bit for that, though chances are I'll only do it a few times because loads of people signed up this year.

Did some auditions yesterday and (so far) have ended up in a Gilbert and Sullivan concert-show-thing. Don't know anything about it aside from the fact that its a staged concert, Opera I think, but I haven't sung in a year and am really looking forward to that. More updates to come. So I doubt I'll do any 'acting' this year but this should be a good excuse to sing, kind of like The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe will be a great venue to do more stage combat than ever in my life (I swear I have 5+ fight scenes with various people).

Also had the first day of auditions for 1984/TROUPE (my outdoor theatre *thing*) yesterday and was really pleased--21 people showed up! For Doctor Despite Himself I ended up with I think 13 after 2 days of auditions and all sorts of asking favours of people to come audition at irregular times. So it looks live I've got options and interest as far as that goes, which is great. Though, in a burst of deep insight and wisdom I've scheduled todays auditions over my Philosophy lectures. Fortunately today should mostly be summary of Plato's Meno, so I'll just take good notes.

Sat in on the OneWorld society meeting last night. Decided, yeah, hippies really aren't my thing. Not in groups where they are "making a difference" at least.

For Sustainable Development I'll be doing an essay on technological fixes to global warming and a project on (our choice of topic) the effects of warfare (probably nuclear fallout, why not) on its surroundings. Looking forward to that. And Meno! Yeah, off to read it now.